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  • A man and his monkey View
      by mojophone on September 10, 2008 at 07:15:22 PDT

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
    he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
    olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats
    them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls,
    sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it
    whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
    did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table
    whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats
    everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry. I'll pay for the
    cue ball and stuff. "He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the
    stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

    Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
    orders a drink and the monkey sta rts running around the bar again. While the
    man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
    bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then
    the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out,
    and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did
    now? He asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino
    cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the
    bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still
    eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
    measures everything first."

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